Struggling To Accept Your New “Mom Bod”?
You’re not alone! Learning to even just ACCEPT your new body (“Mom Bod”) after baby is a struggle for most moms. Actually loving your body after having kids feels nearly impossible for so many of us.
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What Is A Mom Bod?
Simply put…”Mom Bod” refers to a body type of a woman who has carried babies, and therefore isn’t very fit. It often comes with extra fat, excess skin, stretch marks, and other scarring.
Mom Bod Vs. Dad Bod
Why is it that “Dad Bod” is looked at as being attractive and endearing? It’s essentially just a dude with a beer belly that enjoys a good bacon cheeseburger on the weekends. Yet “mom bod” is so often used as an insult, or referring to something that women need to “fix”.
It reminds me of how men with gray hair are described as “distinguished”, but women spend hours in the hair salon on a regular basis to get rid of any possible trace of a gray hair.
The expectation on women has been, and continues to be completely unrealistic and it’s bullshit! Not only are we expected not to age (WTF?!), but we also are expected to have 6 pack abs and zero percent body fat after growing literal humans in our bodies.
But listen up mamas…a lot of that expectation is coming from our own inner voice. And we need to shut her up!
Why not appreciate your mom bod?
I’m not saying that you shouldn’t eat healthy and exercise because it makes you healthy, and it makes you feel good. We should all strive to have a healthy diet and an active lifestyle for our own health benefits.
But what I am saying is that we shouldn’t be hiding under baggy clothes, crying ourselves to sleep, and walking around feeling like total ogres just because our bodies changed after having a baby.
For the record, we’re actually BEAUTIFUL and AMAZING. We literally grew a human baby inside of us and created LIFE. How awesome are we?!
Those stretch marks, excess skin, and “baby weight”…those are visual representations of what your body just went through in order to grow that beautiful baby of yours. Be PROUD of your warrior scars. You did an AMAZING thing. You, your baby, and your body are nothing short of miracles.
So how do you start loving your mom bod?
When you’re feeling extra down on yourself, just look at your little baby. Would you trade that perfect little baby to have your “old body” back? Pretty sure the answer is no.
That’s part of what makes us moms. Two of our greatest strengths are our willingness and ability to SACRAFICE and our overwhelming amount of LOVE that we have to give.
Focus on being healthy, and happy. All that other Mom Bod stuff will fall into place.
If you haven’t already read the book “You Are A Badass – How To Stop Doubting Your Greatness And Start Living An Awesome Life” by Jen Sincero, then you need to! It is a must read for everyone, but especially women!
I’ve enlisted the support of some amazing mom experts to help us all figure out how to reach that point of acceptance, appreciation, and LOVE for our new mom-bods!
“STOP THE COMPARISON GAME”
Stop the comparison game. This is something that I share in all of motherhood, and it absolutely applies to your body. In order to love your body, you have to stop comparing yourself to others. If you don’t stop the comparison game now, you’ll just continue down that rabbit hole, even if you change your body. There will always be someone else to compare to, and it will become a never ending cycle. One simple way to begin is to follow other social media accounts of people that have the same body type as you. Be proud of who you are mama, body and all!
Jennie Mayes
Founder of My Favorite Life & How to Make Meal Planning Work For You
“Your body has done amazing work as a mom–be proud of it.”
Your body has done amazing work as a mom–be proud of it. Focus on all the great things your body does for you every day and give it the love it deserves. Try thanking your body. It may sound silly, but your body does a lot for you. It takes you places, it lifts your child. Your body is your home for life so don’t waste your energy resenting it. Try body-positive affirmations to get yourself in a better frame of mind about your body. Remember mama, your size does not determine your worth!
Gina Morris
Mom of 4 and blogger at Steps To Self
“It wasn’t my body that was the problem, it was me.”
I have grown up comparing my body to other women. It was always a struggle to feel comfortable in my own skin. As I entered adulthood, I decided to do something about it, and I began eating healthy and exercising. But it was never good enough.
It wasn’t my body that was the problem, it was me. It wasn’t until after I had my son that I realized how skinny I was before! And it wasn’t until I had stretch marks and gained so much weight ( I still haven’t lost), that I finally accepted my body. Because after I had my son, I went on a journey of self love and by default…accepted my body.
Loving your body is a choice. It is an action you must take. You need to be intentional about it. To accept your shape is to love yourself. Love is an action not a feeling. This means that you need to focus on the qualities you have that you do love, give your body acceptance for the beauty that it is, and take daily steps to see your body as the powerhouse that it truly is to have brought your precious tiny humans into the world. Your body is a work of art representing the beauty that is motherhood in all of its splendor. And your body, like you, is worth loving.
Vanessa Cooper
Mother, wife, and Founder of Network Nessi
“You can do anything if you set your mind to it and loving your body is something you should set your mind to.”
Trying to love your body after having a baby is really difficult and I know tons of moms who struggle with it, myself included.
Being in the women’s fitness industry I see a lot of women who have a baby and bounce back right afterword and it was so hard for me to see that because my body didn’t go back to what it was before I had my son and it never will. You need to learn that even if your body doesn’t go back that’s okay. Your body created amazing miracles. You gave and grew a life inside of you.
If you have stretch marks, saggy boobs, C-section scar, mom pooch, the works it’s okay. I have each one of these and it’s been really hard not to compare myself to other moms out there, but I can promise you that if you learn to love your body you will be much happier. I workout to help me feel happy about my body, I still have the saggy boobs, stretch marks all over, a C-section scar, and a small shelf over the left side of my scar. But I learned to love my body and I know you can too! You can do anything if you set your mind to it and loving your body is something you should set your mind to. Do some self care and love on your babies that you created. You are amazing and your body is perfect.
Mother, wife, and blogger at One Fit Mama and From Mamma With Love
onefitmamma.com
frommammawithlove.com
“My happiness starts with me, and no one else.”
The only way to stop body-shaming is to be proud of your body. Haters will stop hating when they realize they can not victimize you. I am proud of my body, my stretch marks, my C-section leftovers, my disability, my curve, most especially my smile.
All the scars that are printed on my body, I am proud of them all. It shows where I have been, how I far I have come and where I am going. I have the most perfect body that anyone can ever have. Nothing is missing in my body, and there’s nothing to change.
Think about it. Nobody wakes up in the morning and looks in the mirror and says to themselves, ‘Oh My God, I’m fat.’ You wouldn’t think are fat unless you are told, you wouldn’t think your stretch marks make you look weird unless you are told. You certainly would not think you are ugly unless you are told you are ugly. That is what body shaming does to mental health. Unless you are the all-mighty creator (God), keep your opinion to yourself. It’s my body. You have nothing on me. I am uniquely designed. Only I decide if there are changes that need to be done, only I decide if I’m fat or skinny, only I decide to I eat and don’t eat, and only I decide what I want to do with my body.
It’s my choice. My happiness starts with me, and no one else. As long as I am healthy and happy, I have the perfect body.
Sonia Seivwright
Founder of Life With Sonia
www.lifewithsonia.com
“Among other things, our bodies literally rearranged its organs to build a baby. That is powerful!”
It can be super hard to love this new body our kid(s) have created. I know it may sound cliché or overheard but WE CREATED TINY HUMANS! Among other things, our bodies literally rearranged its organs to build a baby. That is powerful! It also makes sense why our body won’t be exactly the same as it was before. I have lost the baby weight but after 2 kids, I still have a big belly, my feet are a size up, and my wedding rings don’t fit. The more important thing for me right now is not how I look, but to eat healthy for energy so my new mom bod can keep up with their adventures!
Kate Roman
Mom of 2 and Blogger with Adventure Oyster
www.adventureoyster.com
“It’s great to have healthy goals for your body, but it’s also just as important to have patience and grace in reaching those.”
As a Health Coach, I work with moms to help them love their bodies as they are with all their beautiful changes from birth. It’s great to have healthy goals for your body, but it’s also just as important to have patience and grace in reaching those. Every diet or lifestyle change has to start with loving the bodies that gave us such beautiful babies. Self-love for your mind and body no matter how big your health goals are will help you achieve them! Starting with affirmations and changing those negative thoughts to positive thoughts will help you reach your goals even faster postpartum. Becoming a mom is one of life’s beautiful gifts, and it’s up to us to embrace those changes and reframe them in a positive light.
Jada Glover
Lactation Counselor and Health Coach, Founder of Lactation Mamas
lactationmamas.com
When I’m having difficulty loving my mom bod, I try to remember that my body image directly affects my daughter.
When I’m having difficulty loving my mom bod, I try to remember that my body image directly affects my daughter. Do I want my little girl to call herself fat someday or be ashamed of her beautiful curves? Absolutely not. I want her to love herself for who she is and embrace her uniqueness. Girls learn what to think about themselves at a very young age. As moms, we’re the first person they look to. So, on those days when I have the urge to complain about my stretch marks or cellulite, I think about the little ears that are listening and try to give myself just a bit more grace.
Erin Artfitch
Mom of 2 and Owner of Blunders in Babyland
https://blundersinbabyland.com
“The opposite of love is not hate- but indifference.”
Approximately 91% of women are unhappy with their bodies and resort to some sort of dieting to achieve an ideal body. It doesn’t even matter what your current size of shape is- women from models to fitness gurus to everyone in between struggles with body confidence.
As a kid, I was morbidly obese, and my “mom bod” is a battlefield of stretch marks, loose skin and belly pooch. It is all I have ever known. The unique thing about growing up obese is: I never HATED my body. I disliked it, ignored it, hid it and cried over it. I also like it, celebrate it, and showcase it, especially as a mom to two beautiful daughters, one of whom is a teenager who is growing up in a very public, Instagram world.
The opposite of love is not hate- but indifference. To avoid being indifferent to your body (which involves hiding, dissociation and disregard), here are 3 small steps 1) Move it in ways that feel good to you (don’t punish yourself with crazy workouts) 2) Treat it with pampering and sensual experiences that have nothing to do with food 3) Wear the dress (Yes, THAT one) You don’t need to have a place or reason to wear something that makes you feel gorgeous. If you want to change your relationship with your body, join my completely free e-course, 5 Days to Body Bliss, and appreciate that amazing MOM BOD: https://weightless.leadpages.co/5-days-to-body-bliss/
Jenn Espinosa-Goswami
Holistic Coach and Motivational Speaker at Weightless LLC
www.weightlesschronicles.com
“You’ve give the gift of life to someone else, so give the gift of love to yourself.”
Your body isn’t bad, but it has done amazing things! You’ve given the gift of life to someone else, so give the gift of love to yourself. One of my favorite ways to show my body self love is to put on a comfortable, beautiful dress in my best colors and add fun earrings. A simple dress flatters every body and immediately hides areas you’re still learning to love.
Stacey Herndon
Creator of Radiantly Dressed and the Radiant Woman Program
www.radiantlydressed.com
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such an incredible post!! every mom needs to read this. thanks for posting